KG Hammar - faith & controversy

I’ve been reading a book of / about the Archbishop of Church of Sweden, KG Hammar lately. While reading it, the Archbishop released a statement about planning to resign next summer. He’s been the Archbishop of the Church of Sweden for several years, and experienced the separation of the Church and State in Sweden as the head of the Church. He’s been a highly controversial leader in the church and has been under a lot of criticism. He’s raising questions, more than giving answers, he’s questioning a lot of the central doctrines of the church and has been an outspoken leader against war in Iraq, in favor of same-sex marriages and other current issues. It’s great to be able to listen to a person in more detail, than hearing a quotation or seeing an interpretation in the tabloids. A book is a wonderful tool in that respect. After spending some time “with him” in a book written as a conversation between him and Swedish author Ami Lönnroth I am intrigued. At the same time I understand why he is so controversial. He refuses to give clear answers and answers a lot of the questions for clarity with new questions. I don’t share his views on all matters, but in some ways, that doesn’t really matter. He don’t want me to agree with him – he wants me to find my way to God, and find faith without him giving me all the answers. I find in him an interesting approach to life and to faith that resonates with something within. His view of faith is connected to a strong emphasis on relationship, between God and us – and between human beings. Faith is first and foremost a relationship to God, and not a doctrine or a set of rules or regulations. This can be seen as a mystical approach to faith. Where there is unselfish love – you’ll find God. So – where does that leave us? I don’t know. His approach challenges me to the core – he urges me to ask questions myself – What is faith? What is spiritual leadership? Who is God? What is the human race? Where are we headed? Who am I? I guess the answer lies in opening up – opening up for questions, for answers, but most of all for the ability to live in openness towards God AND to other human beings. Not being afraid of all the questions, but slowly letting myself fall – out of control – out of the orderly systems – into the arms of God. Maybe not the answer the Archbishop would have preferred, but I believe it’s a process he would have supported. So thank you Archbishop KG Hammar for trusting us to find our own answers, and giving us tools and a framework from where to find our way. Maybe that is spiritual leadership? Exercising spiritual leadership, from a position of power, but in a spirit of servitude.

Lord of the Rings in Oslo

Lord of the Rings in Concert, Frognerparken, Oslo (All photos: Norwegianblogger)


Saturday the biggest park in Oslo, Frognerparken, was filled with ten thousands of people for a Lord of the Rings Concert. Oslo Philharmonic Orchestra, Sissel Kyrkjebø, Anbjørg Lien, Sølvguttene, Oslo Bach Choir and others joined forces to give a two-hour performance of Howard Shore's score from the Lord of the Rings movies. I walked into the park a few minutes after they started to play, and walking underneath the big, old trees, with the sun shining and partying, picnicking people everywhere, felt like entering into an enormous party at Hobbiton. And then, to have the film music all over the place made the setting complete. The music was great, the orchestra was great, and the setting was fantastic. The concert could possibly have been cut down a little bit more - some parts felt a little repetitive, but in the great atmosphere Saturday, that didn't matter. During the last minutes of the concert, the sky opened and the rain poured down. That's Norway at this time of the year I guess - always difficult with open-air festivities. In spite of this: A great afternoon!
In the evening A-ha played for 120 000 people, but I joined a friend to a play at the National Theater. It was called "Demokrati" ("Democracy") and is written by Michael Frayn. The play is about the German chancellor Willy Brandt, and his assistant Günter Guillaume, who after four years was revealed to be a spy for East Germany. An interesting plot for a play, and I was definitely impressed by it!

A trip to the islands

Flowers at Hovedøya Monastery, Oslo August 2005 (Photo: Norwegianblogger)


Yesterday I went on a trip to one of the islands in the Oslo fjord with my colleagues from work. I liked being able to spend time with my co-workers in such an environment. After a barbecue with hot-dogs and salad and a little hike on the island we had a tour of the old monastery at Hovedøya. It was incredibly interesting to listen to stories of how the monks managed to live there 800 years ago. Ruins of the monastery are still there, and it's a great spot.

Oslo Jazz Festival

Yes, I love this city. Right now there are two - three festivals going on at the same time. There's a poetry festival, a multicultural festival, a chamber music festival and a jazz festival. A friend asked me if I wanted to join him for a concert yesterday. It was with the Norwegian jazz-rock group Lava. and it was part of Oslo Jazz Festival. It was great fun. Felt like being back in the eighties again. It's funny to see people in their thirties and fourties re-experiencing old memories through music. The group is known for their collaboration with American singer Randy Crawford. We missed her yesterday. Her presence would have made the evening complete.

Norwegian jazz-rock group Lava at the Rockefeller Music Hall, Oslo Jazz Festival August 2005 (Photo: Norwegianblogger)

Murder of a spiritual giant

I was really shocked yesterday when I heard about the murder of Brother Roger, the founder of the Taizé community in France. He was killed during the afternoon's service in Taizé with 2500 people present. Knowing that he all his life fought for peace and reconciliation makes the murder even more shocking. I visited Taizé three years ago, and those days made a deep and lasting impact on me. During one of the services Brother Roger prayed for me by laying a hand on my head and saying a blessing. Seeing him that close and sensing his strong spiritual presence and love for God was something to remember. I experienced Taizé as a place that added another dimension to my life, the dimension of spiritual introspection and peace. From that place of peace I was able to look at my life in a more honest way, and I sensed a strong spiritual presence of being seen and loved by God. This is the legacy of Brother Roger and Taizé in my life, and I know that there are thousands of stories from people all over the world that can testify to the impact of Taizé in their lives. Brother Roger was stabbed to death with a knife by a 36 year old woman from Rumania. I don't know what went through her head, but I know that even though Brother Roger was killed, his message of love, reconciliation and peace will prevail. Taizé might have lost a spiritual giant, but his legacy will live on!

The Church of Reconciliation in Taizé, France (Photo: Norwegianblogger 2002)

Kiss the frog!

Kiss the frog, exhibition in the National Gallery, Oslo. (Photo: Norwegianblogger 2005)

I'm not talking about me, neither am I talking about fairy tales, but yesterday I went to see the much hyped exhibition "Kiss the frog" at the National Gallery here in Oslo. The exhibition was opened by Queen Sonja of Norway earlier this year, and will be in the museum until September 18th. Seeing the exhibition left me with a few questions about modern art and where the art world is headed. The main question is: What is the difference between art and design at one side and art and entertainment at the other side? First of all: Is it really important to discuss that at all? The theme of the exhibition is "the art of change", and to be art, I guess the artifacts should make us think and reflect. Was I challenged to reflect yesterday? Both yes and no, immediately after I left the building I felt a little empty and I asked myself: was this all? Was this really everything? Do I have to think of art as something that has to be discovered everywhere, or is it the setting it's placed in that makes it art? It's in the most prestigious museum in Norway, and that makes it art? I started to wonder, because parts of the exhibition could have been on a ride in Disneyland or as a part of the decoration in Vienna's Prater. Would I have reflected about the message and what the artist want to convey if I'd seen the same artifacts in Disneyland? Probably not, but is that a problem? Andy Warhol was known because he put the artifacts of everyday life in a museum, and suddenly it was art. In some ways I like that. The video installations was a part of the exhibition that in some ways left me puzzled. Yes, they were about the possibilities for change. One was about things that suddenly was alive, another one was about a dog flirting with a woman at a bridge, I guess both is about the possibilities for change, and we are challenged to think "what if....". At the same time we're living in an age were life is threatened by terrorists, threats to the environment, political upheavals, hunger in Africa and a lot of uncertainty. There are elements in the exhibition that points in these directions, but mostly I felt like I walked through a theme park. Again, I'm not opposed to theme parks, and I'm happy about change, also in the National Gallery. I heard a woman complaining to one of the guards yesterday that she was annoyed that everything had changed, and that the paintings not were in the exact spot they've always been. I don't share that view at all. If the art is going to challenge us and speak to us, I think it constantly should be put in new contexts. In one of the rooms at the exhibition, Erik Werenskiold's famous drawings from the Norwegian Folk tales was put opposite Vanessa Bairds enormous painting of weird situations involving children and adults. Did it work? Yes, in some ways I felt that Baird's painting made me think about the grotesque and challenging in the folk tales all over again, because, believe me, her painting is really challenging! All in all, the exhibition left me with a lot of questions about art and few answers. Perhaps we have the answer right there? If we are challenged to think and reflect, and are challenged to feel and react we are in the presence of art. Was I yesterday? Yes, I was challenged to think about art and were it is headed, but I'm not sure if I was challenged to reflect about the world, the future, the human race or my own life, in some ways I raise the question if the art world only loves itself. If we kiss that frog, what do we get? Maybe Narcissus?

Am I weird?

I don't know, but maybe? It's Saturday night, and I've spent the whole evening alone watching a couple of TV shows on DVD, listening to some good music, looking out of the window, thinking about my past, praying, sensing a mild breeze from my window and being overwhelmed by a sense of gratitude. There have been so many good things happening in my life, and there have been so many wonderful people that I've been fortunate to meet, and tonight I had time to think about it. I guess it was my time with the family album yesterday that started it all. Tonight I thought about my life until now, all the people I've met, all the places I've been and all the kindness, care and love I've experienced. Even in times alone I've never been left in loneliness. There's an old word in the vocabulary that covers my experience of my life until this day, it's "GRACE", amazing grace! Am I weird? Probably!

Picking up memories

Since I'm having my vacation right now, and I'm spending it in Oslo, I have time to do a lot of things. This morning I've been spending some time with one of the old family albums. It's strange to see yourself as a four- or five year old. To look into the eyes of that child and know that it is yourself. Two photos drew my attention this morning. One is with my grandfather and one is with my father. It's kind of funny, because photos can be deceiving. I remember when the photo with my grandfather was shot, because it was a completely arranged situation. I think it was the only time ever that I was that close to him, and I guess it was the only time ever that we read a book together. Kind of funny isn't it? I do remember him as an incredibly nice person, but always at a distance, with my grandmother as the central person for me. I think I would have loved to know him as a grown-up man, but he died when I was ten.

Me and Grandpa, back in the mid 70s.

The photo with my father is interesting. This is typical for his sense of humor. I've obviously been sleeping, and has just woke up. My father is pointing at me with a smile on his face. My father had a lot of artistic gifts. One of them was being a fabulous storyteller. Several mornings I remember waking him up begging him to tell me stories. It wasn't stories from books, but he made them up right there, involving me and the rest of the family in incredible stories from far-a-way countries and kingdoms. Sometimes I was the hero of the story, and what a feeling that was! Sometimes he brought a sketch book and made incredible drawings and sketches. I loved it and I am in some ways puzzled by the fact that after being a commander in the army, he spent his whole life in a factory. It's actually a little sad. What would have happened if he'd been able to free these artistic gifts? I don't know, maybe he would have felt more fulfilled and would have been happier? Hard to say, but I'm sure glad I was able to hear the stories, see the drawings, and experience that art can make ties between fathers and sons, parents and children.

Dad & me

Queen Mary 2 in Oslo

The world's biggest cruise ship, Queen Mary 2 arrived in Oslo yesterday. What a ship! I had to have a look at it yesterday and went downtown to see it. I was not the only one. From Aker Brygge at the other side of the harbor I could see the ship almost hiding Akershus Castle. An impressive sight it was, and I was reminded of stories of how it was when the Norwegian America Line arrived in Oslo on it's journey to and from New York. Have a look at a couple of my photos of Queen Mary 2.


Queen Mary 2 in Oslo, July 26, 2005 Both photos: Norwegianblogger

South Coast in summer

I've spent the last week in a cottage at the south-coast of Norway with four friends. This is the ultimate summer spot for me. The sea, the boats, the sun, the vegetation - there are few other places that can compete with the south-coast of Norway. We spent the first day close to Portør, swimming and enjoying the sun and the view of the ocean.

Close to Portør, Norway Photo: Norwegianblogger 2005

Another day we went to Jomfruland, an island with 70 inhabitants situated far out from the coast line. I enjoyed it tremendously. We went for hikes, for a swim in the ocean and spent hours in the sun.

Jomfruland, Norway Photo: Norwegianblogger 2005

In the evening we enjoyed a concert with the Norwegian poet and artist Odd Børretzen. The setting was perfect. The stage was set directly underneath two light houses, and with the humour and jazzy feeling of Lars Martin Myhre and Odd Børretzen's poetry and music, the evening was made perfect.

Lars Martin Myhre and Odd Børretzen in concert, Jomfruland, Norway. Photo: Norwegianblogger 2005


Coastal charm in Kragerø, Norway. Photo: Norwegianblogger 2005

Sad news from London

The news last week about the terrorist attack in London left me numb. I was there less than a month before the attacks and used the tube all the time. I was at all the stations that were targeted. It makes me feel sad and furious! Both London and New York are cities that belongs to the world. There are people from every nation, living there, sharing life and struggling to communicate and to live together peacefully. These kind of attacks puts fear as a central factor, and knowing that this is the goal for these people leaves me disappointed and sad about the state of humankind. I hope they will never succeed! At the same time: What if we give away all our rights for privacy and personal freedom to the government? That would not be right either - and I wonder if this is the goal of the terrorists as well. To crush democracy and personal freedom on the altar of security.

Live 8 Live

I saw parts of the incredible Live 8 live -concert yesterday, and what a concert it was. Many highlights, but for me the three songs with Annie Lennox stands out. Her voice is still strong and better than ever, and at stage she's there with authority and integrity. Events like this never leave me untouched, both in 85 with the original Live Aid concert and yesterday's concert Left me very touched. Seeing people from all over the globe sharing the same event, experiencing the same songs, the same message and acting on it is great. It binds us together as a human race, in spite of our differences and disagreements. In 1985 I was only a teenager being totally excited about being able to see musical heroes live from the UK and the US. Even though I only saw the concert on TV I felt I was part of history. Being young, being hopeful, believing in change. Yesterday, seeing Pet Shop Boys playing in Moscow, Nelson Mandela giving a speech in South Africa and A-ha in Berlin made me remember how the world was like in 1985. What changes hasn't happened in the last 20 years? The world has changed, the issues have changed, there is freedom in those countries, the artists that were young back in 85 are still there, but they have aged. I have aged, and am now a man, but the concert made me realize that hope is still there. Yes, the world has changed, but there are still problems in Africa. The world still needs a Bob Geldof and a Bono to make us remember, and to challenge us! Yesterday the task was signing our names in a global fight for justice. Did I sign? Yes, and I felt a bit of that youthful hope I had back in '85 as well.

Gandalv in Oslo

I saw Sir Ian McKellen or Gandalv (from the Lord of the Rings) walking the streets of Oslo Saturday. He's here for the Europride festival and participated in the big parade through the streets of Oslo. He's a wonderful actor and as Gandalv in the Lord of the Rings - he was superb! Here's Ian through my lense.



Sir Ian McKellen in Oslo, Norway, June 25, 2005 Photo: Norwegianblogger




Europride parade (Photo: Norwegianblogger)

Norway - a young nation

Today I went to a lecture about June 7th 1905 when the Norwegian Parliament dissolved the union with Sweden. It was interesting to hear how the Norwegian Parliament actually was able to reject the King and dissolve the union. An English commentator called it "the most gentlemanly revolution in history". No violence, no war and today there are no hard feelings between the two countries. In some ways I guess it's quiet unique in European history and an interesting field for research. At the same time: We are a young nation, and in the same way as young people I guess we are trying to understand ourselves and find our way. What does it mean to be a nation in Europe today? What is a country and should we as inhabitants have our belonging to the nation as a foundational part of our identity or should we think of ourselves as Europeans or maybe only as human beings? I do believe that it is important to feel a belonging to something outside of yourself - a community. It could be your family, your friends, as supporters of a football club, a religious community, your city or your country. The fantastic thing is that there are a lot of different ways to belong - to be a part of a community. I'm sure glad to be Norwegian, but who knows - I think I would have enjoyed being a Swede as well. :)

Swingin' London

I'm spending great days in London. Yesterday I was actually out of London on a walk in Salisbury and Stonehenge. Thanks to the TKTS booth I was today able to see two plays. First I saw Hedda Gabler - I was really impressed and even though I haven't been the greatest Ibsen-fan, I was touched by the play. Compliments to the casting - all of them were great. The choice of Eve Best as Hedda Gabler was superb and ALL the supporting actors were outstanding!

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In the evening I saw Val Kilmer and Charlotte Emmerson in The Postman always rings twice. Powerful, yet sensitive. Raw and violent, yet romantic - and both the main actors had a strong presence on stage.

P&C
Originally uploaded by Norwegianblogger.

Charlotte Emmerson and me in London.


Seeing both of these plays in one day knowing that the first was set in my native country, while the other one was set in the other country I've lived, made me think about the differences and similarities of these countries. I think the plays in many ways elaborated some typical traits of the people living in these countries, but at the same time are both stories universal. Seeing these two plays convinced me once more of the power of theater! I enjoyed it tremendously - and London - what a city. You just have to avoid some of the stressful parts of it, like Piccadilly Circus, Oxford street and the streets around Parliament. The rest of it can both be peaceful, interesting and diverse!

Where did summer go?

We're still waiting for summer here in Norway. It's cold and windy, and I long for those long summer nights. This could be the best part of the year, but not this year. In London there's been a heat wave, why not share with us? By the way, next week I'm going to London, so maybe it's OK the way it is ;)

Vienna, Maria João and a city of culture.

Vienna from the air, May 2005 (Photo: Norwegianblogger 2005) 

This week I came back from Vienna after spending four days in this elegant city. It's obvious that this is a city where the rulers have been concerned about spending money on culture. There are magnificent buildings everywhere and at night they look even better with the lights. I'm impressed. I went with three friends and we had several cultural experiences. In my impression I have two highpoints: 1) the concert with jazz-artists Maria João and Mario Laginha at the Birdland jazz club in Vienna's Hilton hotel. Maria's voice and personality is extraordinary - there's not another word that covers it. In one minute she's like a bird, in the next a lion. She's like a thunderstorm and a Brazilian breeze, as Björk in one minute and as Ella Fitzgerald in the next. Not only in singing, but also in her expressions is she totally free at stage, loving every minute of it. Using her hands, dancing around stage, smiling, flirting and crying. She's so alive! Her musicians are the best and made the concert even better. After being sung into heaven we walked out of Birdland with a smile on our faces.


Maria João in Concert in Birdland Jazz Club, Vienna (Photo: Norwegianblogger May 2005) 

For me the next evening's concert in Musikverein was the opposite of the experience in Birdland. Musikverein is probably the most beautiful concert hall in the world, made famous through the broadcasting of the New Years Concert each year. There's no better place to enjoy a concert, and the hall lived up to its reputation. When you walk into this hall your expectations rise. In some ways I felt a little sad when the orchestra entered the stage. They were dressed in Mozart costumes and played Mozart on routine, short pieces of music without any plan or artistic integrity. It was all accompanied by hundreds of digital cameras and mobile phones clicking and flashing throughout the whole concert (among them mine). In some ways I felt a little surprised that this wonderful concert hall was used to a concert like this. One of my friends said it well when he compared it to a Disneyland show (I love Disneyland by the way, but Disneyland is Disneyland - and Vienna is Vienna). For my sake I said that the board of the Musikverein is guilty of cultural prostitution when they use this wonderful hall to a concert like this, but I guess that's a bit too much. To be able to enter this wonderful hall is great, and listening to any kind of music enhances the experience. Imagine the Vienna Philharmonic Orchestra in this hall - that would have been something!

My second highpoint was definitely the Kunsthistoriches Museum - probably one of the best art museums in the world! The house in itself was a work of art - and the collection is impressive. We spent hours in the museum, and even had time for an hour in the museum's café. The cakes where like a work of art as well.

All in all: Vienna is highly recommendable!

Three days in Sápmi

Wednesday I was back in Oslo after spending three days in Kautokeino in Northern Norway (almost at the North Cape). It was a fantastic experience. The nature is wild and there
are hundreds of miles of tundra and mountains. I was there for the National Sami Church Council and met a lot of the indiginous people of Norway. A great experience. Today I'm going with three friends to Vienna, Austria.


Finnmark at sunset, May 2005 (Photo: Norwegianblogger 2005) 

At first I thought this photo was blurred and I was going to erase it, but then... I realized: I like it! Photo: Norwegianblogger 2005

Nationalism and rights for the Sami people

There's been a discussion in Oslo lately connected to the celebration of Norway's national day, 17th of May. The Sami people want to use their flag in the 17th of May parade in Oslo, but the City Council of Oslo has said no. Only Norwegian flags will be tolerated in the celebration of the national day. It's interesting to observe the fight for symbolic power. There have been two peoples in this country in recorded history. One (the Norwegians) has been dominant in all ways - the language, history writing and cultural symbols. Combined with the ideology of Nationalism we, as Norwegians have been able to establish our culture and symbols as the "natural" for this territory. But is it really? We don't own this land even though we have connected a few symbols and stories to it. I am proud of my heritage, I'm proud of what my forefathers and foremothers have done, but I don't believe that we as Norwegians have a right to dominate another part of the population that have been here as long as us. Should the idea of Norway be connected to nationalistic symbols or should it be about freedom, brotherhood and equality (to use the phrases from the revolution)? To celebrate our freedom, our rights, our heritage I would have loved us to celebrate our national day as two peoples, two flags, united in the values and ideas that made us a democracy. That's what our national day should be about, isn't it?

Being visible!

Yesterday I started my day by having hours of conversations with my wonderful house-mate. Through the conversation I found that being invisible has a lot to do with making myself invisible. Relationships are not about withdrawing, but it's about daring to show who you are. Daring to confront, discuss, forgive and to be real. We don't like being criticized, but I actually think it's important to be able to have people around that are able to confront me, challenge me and help me to be a better man. I've had some people confronting and criticizing me lately, and my answer to that has been withdrawing - I guess my answer should be the opposite - to seek towards those relationships, because that's where I grow. It does not mean to say that they are right, but knowledge about who I am and where I should go in my life comes through struggling with these questions and inviting others to participate. I guess that's where life is really worth living, and that's where I want to be: Visible, real and transparent.

Who are we really?

As I wrote in Paris I have felt lately that I have become more invisible. In some ways I feel it's because of my own choices - I have chosen to be more isolated. It has made me think - who am I really - and who are we as part of the human race? What is a man and a woman in itself - more than flesh and bones? Why are we able to give each other heaven and hell through the words we're saying or from a touch from our hands? I've had some conversations lately that have made me think (yes, Im not totally isolated :) ). We are trying to make sense of our lives, we're searching for acceptance and to be embraced, we are so fragile. The distance between sanity and being "out there" is so short. What is a life then, and why are we here? I don't know - I only know that the sun rises and the sun sets every day, the wind blows and our lives are like being on a journey where you don't know the destination. Right now I feel a little lost, but there are a few lighthouses here and there that leads the way. I'm looking intensely for those lighthouses.


Spring in Oslo. (Photo: Norwegianblogger) 

Dentist Paradise

It's quiet amazing isn't it? I've been to the dentist today and she worked on two holes without me feeling anything. I was almost asleep during the procedure. I get in a meditative mood when I'm in a dentist's chair. I don't exactly know why, but there is something about the light, the comfortable chair and someone quietly working around (and in) me. My thoughts starts to wander and I drift away. It's not that I LIKE it, but it's actually not too bad. It's wonderful to be without pain throughout the whole procedure though. I hope that she's done a great job as well.

Death of a Pope

Pope John Paul II died this evening. It strange isn't it? He's been there for almost 27 years as Pope and now he's gone. I was always amazed about how people reacted around him, but I finally understood when I was in Rome in 2001. I walked around St. Peter's Square one evening when a priest approached me and asked me if I wanted an invitation into the Vatican to see the movie Que Vadis with the Pope present. It was a surreal experience since the movie was really violent. A few rows in front of me I could see the Pope sitting in his chair. After the movie he was coming up through the middle of the big hall. The atmosphere was electric, and the closer he got people the more people was totally extatic. He had an aura that was really strong, and even through the photos I shot this evening you can sense a bit of his charisma. Here's the Pope through my lense in 2001.

Pope John Paul II in Rome 2001. Photo: Norwegianblogger 

A new star in Jazz?

I went to the library here in Oslo a couple of days ago. I brought home a CD from the jazz department called "Glittercard". The artist is Torun Eriksen. I'd never heard her name and thought it could be interesting to listen to some new music. I was really surprised. Her voice is rich and warm and the music is both innovative and interesting. There are some voices that have a quality that makes you want to listen to them for hours: Eva Cassidy, Randy Crawford, Norah Jones, Sidsel Endresen, Silje Nergaard, Al Jarreau, Sarah Vaughn and others have that kind of quality in their voices. Now there's a new person to add to that list: Torun Eriksen. Visit her homepage for a little taste of what she has to offer: http://www.toruneriksen.no/ - or best of all: Buy her album!

Piaf, Morrison, Wilde and the others..

Père Lachaise, Paris - March 25, 2005. Photo: Norwegianblogger 2005 

Yes, I've been visiting them all today - at their last resting place at Père Lachaise here in Paris. What a strange place. I arrived in the morning, and the sun shone through the trees and there was a little mist in the air. Even in sunlight it felt a little spooky. It's strange to meet death in such a profound way. At times I felt that I could smell it when I walked between the gravesites. All these people that were so filled with life, art and meant so much to so many now rest there, as bones and earth. Their work lives on though. The music of Chopin, the voice of Jim Morrison and Edith Piaf, the works of Moliere and Wilde and all the others that now are at the other side of life - dead in other words. Today I was thinking that most of the famous people resting in this graveyard experienced a lot of tragedy in their lives. Is that the price of fame? Is tragedy and sadness necessary for real art? It's hard to say, but today gave me an opportunity to think about the lives of these people and to observe (there we go again :) ) how different people react when they get to the gravesite of their heroes. At Jim Morrisson's grave there were a lot of young people with their headsets on - obviously listening to his music. At the same time there were guards at this place keeping an eye on everybody that came close and shouting out if something inappropriate was going on. The city of Paris had even closed off the area around the gravesite because of the doings of his fans. That's rock'n'roll I guess. At Chopin's grave it was really quiet, and a lot of flowers had been arranged around the white marble sculpture. At Oscar Wilde's gravesite I was amazed to see the ornamentation of the grave - when I got a little closer I could see that there were lots of marks from kisses that made up what I thought was the ornamentation. I think he would have liked that! At the same time I heard a guide say that someone had damaged parts of the sculpture because they hated that he was gay. I guess he wouldn't have been surprised about that either. At Edith Piaf's grave people stopped up and stood quietly around her grave looking sad. I guess she gave voice to a lot of people here in France during her lifetime. All in all - a visit to a cemetery could be an interesting experience. It surely was for me.

Today is a wonderful day in Paris by the way - it's summer and enjoy every minute of it. Tomorrow I'm going back to Norway so now I want to go out and enjoy the rest of the day. Au revoir!!

Ani Di Franco and me in Paris

Yesterday was a wonderful day here in Paris. Sunny and nice. Couldn't be better. During the day I walked the streets and spent hours in Parc Luxembourg listening to music, reading and enjoying the scenery. In the evening I went to Parc de Villette for a concert with the American singer Ani Di Franco. It was a fantastic concert; political, lyrical and fantastic - and I wasn't invisible anymore. Spent the whole evening with Margi from Paris; and had a great time. And Indian Ruby, my only (?) reader - YES; I AM HERE IN PARIS: Wish you could have been here too.

Invisible in Paris?

I'm in Paris - walking the streets, enjoying the scenery, marveling at the architecture and all that's going on in the streets. It's strange to walk around at a place where you don't know a single person, where every person you meet is a stranger and you're not known by anyone. I'm an observer of the life of others, and I'm not observed by anyone. I think I enjoy it though. It's maybe part of my nature. I enjoy being an observer, and being an Anthropologist by education makes it even more interesting - it's my craft - at the same time - is this life? These last days in Paris have made me think about this. Do I really enjoy being invisible? I guess the answer is both yes and no. It's wonderful to observe life - to see people communicate trough words, gestures and deeds. That's easier when I'm at a distance - then I'm able to take in a lot more about the situations, but I'm not there, I'm not feeling, talking or acting. In Paris I really feel invisible - people look away as soon as I look at them, and no one is really approachable. I'm probably like them, looking away - not being open and approachable. Why are we like that? Why are we not able to share more of this life? I'm not sure if I like or dislike being invisible, but maybe there is something to learn from this? A couple of years ago I visited a monastery in Taizé here in France. It did take a day or two to be able to quiet down within and to be able to connect with God through my thoughts and noise within. Traveling is in many ways similar to this, especially when I'm traveling by myself. It takes a day or two to get into the mood and to learn to appreciate the loneliness as a way to quiet down and to listen to my thoughts and to God through my experiences. I've tried to find my way to some of the churches in the city. Yesterday I did light two candles in the Notre Dame de Paris. One of them was for Indian Ruby - and it was nice to be able to let the candles be wordless prayers of love and concern when words are hard to find.


Notre Dame De Paris March 22, 2005. Photo: Norwegianblogger 

Have I connected with God in Paris? I don't know - I feel that the churches are havens of peace in a noisy city, and I have felt called to pray and to meditate while I'm there. The Church of St. Severin in the Quartier Latin was especially a peacefull place today. There was a simple cross made of branches hanging above the altar - it was simple, but powerfull. I was praying, and then my thoughts started to wander - there's so much noise inside of me, but I'm trying to open up. In my mind I'm reaching out to the people I pass by or observe, but there's no response. Is God like that as well in my life? Is He reaching out to me, and I walk by - thinking of Him as an invisible presence that really don't know me? I dare to think that even here, in Paris, I am seen be Him, known by Him and loved by Him - and I hope that this knowledge will be felt as well - I guess this is my prayer for everyone I pass by, and for myself a late night in Paris. That we all are seen by Him - and when we're not seen by anyone, we are loved by the Creator of all things.

I do know that there are few other cities in this world that can compare! Looking forward to explore the city, my inner being and God's ways in the next days - and if you're here in Paris maybe I'll see you. Enjoy life!

Paris on my mind

I have a couple of places on this planet where I feel at home - one of them is of course Oslo, but other than that New York and Paris are places where I feel really ALIVE. For Easter I'm actually going to Paris, and I'm looking forward to it. Last time I was there I went with two friends and met another American friend there. I loved it. This time I'm going all by myself, but I think that'll be great as well. I love to explore the different parts of the city, just walk for hours and then to sit down and enjoy the scenery. There'll be a couple of cultural experiences as well. I bought a ticket to a concert with Ani DiFranco - that'll be fun. The wonderful jazz artist Lian Amber will be in Paris as well, and I guess you'll see me there.

It's great to have something to look forward to. Paris - here I come!

Loves us out of isolation

During the last week I've had a couple of conversations that have made me think more about my faith and where I'm at in my Christian walk. I've realized that a lot of the theological conflicts today are grounded in the view and interpretation of the Bible. I read something yesterday that made me think about this. It said that Christians today are challenged to live in the tension between being naive and intellectual. We are allowed to think, but at the same time we are told that the highest faith level in the Kingdom of God is that of a child. It might mean that faith is about a relationship - letting God mother us and love us. I love that thought, because it tells us that God loves every human being, and sees them as family. I believe that - and I do hope that every human being is included in this, but what then about the Bible? Is there room for interpretation or are we to think of every word as God's direct voice into our lives and situations? I think of the Word as a gate - a gate into a life in God's love and presence; a gate into a relationship with God. It tells us about who God is - how Jesus is the bodily presence of God at Earth and shows us how God loves every human being. There are a lot of difficult passages, but how are we to read them? I believe that fellowship and relationships are crucial in a human being's life - and GOOD relationships are images of God's relationships to us. A mother and a father love their child, even though they don't live according to their principles. A brother will always be a brother even though he doesn't share the same values. I believe our view of humanity should be similar to this view of family. We're all created by God, loved by God and created to fellowship with God. The task of the Church is to be a Family - a family who loves all, included the so-called "black sheeps" of the family, and don't divide who's in and out. A family with one task at hand: To love the world, so that the love of God is seen through the Church and the World.

Words - words - words....

Indian Ruby had a wonderful reply to my last posting: Perhaps our words are the arms we are missing. Wow - what a sentence! Our words are able to build up, tear down, move us, make us hopeful and filled with despair. A blog is more than anything only words. The only thing you see here are words - no music, no movies or pictures - only words. Through words we are here to share life. As Indian Ruby says: our words might be the arms we are missing.

Nothing to say?

Have you ever had the feeling that you have nothing to say? There are so many words in this world, and after browsing a few of the blogs of the web I almost feel empty. Sometimes when I'm in a meeting at work I feel the same. I listen to others say all the right things, and my head feels blank. I love to listen and to read all the thoughts and to be challenged by all the people out there, but I start to wonder: What do I have to say? Is there anything more to say in this world or has it all been said, all been challenged and thought through. I don't know. Maybe, even probably it is so, but why then go on saying all the things that has been said? I guess the word is communication. We are all communicators in some way or another. The question is what do I communicate? I'm not shy at all, I enjoy conversations and discussions tremendously, and I do it often, but when it comes to settings where I have to say something in a big group, I go blank. That's me, and during the last couple of weeks I've had a bit of the same feelings againgst this blog. I wonder - do I have anything to say? I guess the next days and weeks will show, at least I guess I should try - even though it has been said before....

Oslo - can it get any better?

This week Aftenposten, one of the major newspapers here in Norway, presented a survey involving hundreds of inhabitants of Oslo. The question was how people like living here. 9 or 10 people either loves or likes the city, while one of ten thinks it’s OK or bad. For me it’s no surprise. I’ve always really enjoyed living here. The combination of culture and nature in this city is its strongest asset. Concert halls, movie theaters, a lot of museums, art galleries and then the fjord and thousands of miles of forest a few minutes by subway from the city center – can it get any better? I don’t think so. I have some favorite spots on this planet: New York is one, Paris is another – but, amazingly enough – Oslo is definitely up there with these cities in my mind. Is there nothing bad about Oslo? Sure it is. There are a lot of people that are struggling; with drugs, with prostitution and crime. On my way to work I meet them every day, but I’ve never had any bad experiences myself. I don’t want our city in all areas to show off a polished surface where everything is slick and without scratches. This is not a theme park, but a city. I like that – diversity – both among people and in the different areas of the city. In other words, I live my life here in Oslo, and it’s great to live in a city that I really enjoy living in, and where most others share that joy! You are welcome to experience it yourself – it’s here and it’s waiting for you!

Friends in faraway places

Oh what a joy to open my mailbox today and find e-mails from three great friends I haven't heard from in a very long time! It reminded me how a few lines in a mail keeps us in community with each other and helps us to feel connected. Thank you Matt in Seattle, thank you Forrest in Seattle and thank you Christine in Vancouver for writing these mails today and sending them to me. You are indeed friends in faraway places. To everyone reading this today: Perhaps it's time to send an e-mail to an old friend somewhere in this world. Do it today!

Insomnia?

After having a long vacation I was back at work today. I've loved the long nights and long mornings for the last couple of weeks. Going to sleep at about 2 AM and waking up at about 11. It's actually great to be able to turn around life like this for awhile, but today the alarm went at 6:45. I was really tired because I wasn't able to sleep before 3 AM - but I'm OK. Actually it feels like a jet-lag - trying to cope with everyday life again. Back to work and back in the routines.

It's the ordinary days that make up most of our lives and I believe we have to take care of these days and nights that we get. Being 35 I realize that I don't live forever. I've always known that, but now I feel it. Maybe I've already lived half of my life? Man, I'm glad to be alive. I sincerely hope that knowing my mortality makes me live my life to the fullest!

Making room for rage

Hi! Why am I here as a blogger? I was actually inspired by a good friend of mine who opened her blog a couple of days ago (http://indiarubyflower.blogspot.com/ ). I thought it was wonderful to se her on the web - and I thought - why not join the community? After reading another blog for months( http://www.thursdaypm.org/blog/rachelle/ ) I have felt really touched by what Rachelle's been writing - and it's inspiring to read everyday wisdom. Rachelle is a very wise woman.

A friend of mine told me once that he thought that I should be less analytical and more active, but now I think: Perhaps blogging could be a kind of action? Being me is partly being analytical, and this is a forum for that. I don't know if there will be anyone reading this, but I'm here. I'm writing, and sharing, and analyzing and trying to find my way in this wonderful, but confusing world. I'm here and you're welcome to share in this frightening, hopeful and great journey called life.

The tsunami in Asia has really been on my mind in the last week. I stayed in a hotel at Patong Beach a few years ago, I walked the beaches of Phi Phi island and I stayed in a shabby hostel at Penang island in Malaysia. It's been surreal to watch these locations totally destroyed and chaotic. People died those places and paradise is suddenly hell, and there is no escape - I've been there - I've stood at the exact places where the photographers and the CNN reporters stand today. Why do some people live - and others die? If the earthquake had happened a few years ago I could have been among the dead ones. I don't know why some people die. I think about it a lot, but I don't find a lot of answers. The Bishop of Oslo said something wise today. He said that in situations like now we should make room for anger. Being angry at God and letting ourselves ask questions. I guess this is my prayer this night: Help us to make room for rage when there are no answers to all the why's of our lives.