A friendly face

I’ve been thinking of faces today. What is a face, and how are our faces our foremost tool of communication? A lot of our communication comes through our faces. Through our faces we’re able to show our sadness, our joy and how we perceive others.

In my life I have experienced several times how a human face and its expressions can change my day. When I was younger I spent a lot of time in one of the churches of Oslo. Sometimes I participated in the service in doing worship, at communion or in leading the service. When I was looking at a big group of people knowing that they looked at me, I was amazed to see how “closed” a lot of their faces were, but there – in the middle of the church was a smiling, open face of an older woman with white hair. I will never forget her face – showing with every part of her face that she appreciated me taking part and showing me that she wanted me to do my best. More than ten years later I still feel the positive energy of her smiling eyes and her positive attitude.

Another experience was three years ago. For months I’d been taking part in the preparation of a conference for Church of Norway. For the conference we invited, as the main speaker, the founder of the movement L’Arche, Jean Vanier. I’d read some of his work, and listened to a couple of his sermons and was a little nervous when I knocked at the door of his room at the conference center. He was sitting at the couch, and when I came into the room I looked into a face that broke into a wonderful, open smile. I had never met him before, but it felt like meeting a father that hadn’t seen his son for years. He rose up from the coach with a big smile and shook my hand while giving me 100 % of his attention.

In 1993 one of the greatest leaders the world has ever seen, Nelson Mandela, participated in a service in Oslo Cathedral. He was in Oslo as a laureate of the Nobel Peace Prize, and I was there to experience this legendary man. After the service Nelson Mandela walked down the aisle, and for just a couple of seconds his eyes met mine and I looked into this smiling, open face where every part of it tells a story of how love conquers hate, and how forgiveness suppress evil.

My inner image of these three faces will forever be with me and I wonder why. I guess we all long for the feeling of being seen, accepted and embraced. Our faces are our main communicative tools, and through it we can “read” the acceptance or rejection of others. In a world of words our faces “gives us away”. We can try to conceal what we feel, and often we do, but what if we dare to do like the woman in church, like Jean Vanier and Nelson Mandela. To let our faces and our bodies be the frame from where our souls might shine? I don’t know how these people are able to meet thousands and to be able to see them all, but I suspect it has something to do with a sense of being seen. By focusing on something outside of themselves, because they know that they are loved and that their contribution makes a difference in the life of their fellow man, to dare to think and know that every person, every creature is created and loved, worthy to be met through our faces, with openness and honesty. Wow, I’ve got such a long way to go, but I would have loved to be able to grasp only a little of what these three people have understood and made a part of their interaction with others.