Finding my virtual self

Back in the eighties Madonna sang “Living in a material world” – now I guess the chorus could have been “Living in a virtual world – and I am a virtual man.” I’ve been active in cyberspace for awhile, but in some ways my interaction has increased. Much more than before, when the web was more or less a practical tool for finding information or reading news I experience the web to be transforming into a community – a virtual world with rules for communication, acceptable or unacceptable behavior, with bystanders and actors, with environments and places to explore. Most of all I experience the web to be a virtual world where we project an image of who we are OR who we want to be. For me it started with a homepage which was one-sided communication, then I became a blogger and took part in different communities on the web. What started as a presentation of my social anthropological work and a presentation of photos has more and more evolved into the presentation of a virtual self – a person I don’t always understand, but who evolves through interaction at the web. Suddenly I’m communicating with other “projections” from different parts of the world, and I start to wonder: Who are these people? I interact with them, I share thoughts with them and I have fun with them – but it’s all without direct communication with a person of flesh and blood – we’re actually communicating through machines, we’re communicating as projections of who we are or who we want to be. Perhaps it’s the same with a telephone you might say, but this feels really different. As an anthropological explorer I feel like I’m entering the territory of an unknown tribe; A people with a language, with lots of codes, symbols and hidden knowledge, and I’m like a novice trying to find my way, trying to communicate, to seek friendship and relations, to reject when it’s necessary and to open up when the time is right. I’ve done a lot of mistakes, and I’ve been virtually rejected. That’s been a strange experience. Sometimes I’ve “met” virtual people, that has started to enter the category of “virtual friend”, suddenly there is a “virtual code” I’ve broken (probably) and I never hear from them again. They are gone from my virtual world, and I’m left with some questions and the feeling of being rejected without knowing why. I hope to be able to be a better “virtual rejecter” than the method of “virtual disappearance” – this code of behavior seems to be widespread in the virtual world :) . I do think it’s necessary to reject at times though. Sometimes we can’t really meet the expectations that our virtual projections have made in others. Then it’s better to put up “virtual borders” and recommend other communities or “projections”.

I feel like a little baby in this virtual world, and I need to learn the language, I have to listen for advice from “the elders” – I have to find my way, find friends, find communities, find a way to be true to myself in the projection I choose to share in the virtual world. I’ve already found some “elders” here and there who is willing to be mentors in this virtual tribe that I’ve recently entered. I’m still a toddler, but I guess I’ve got some potential to grow up and become a man and maybe one day an elder in this wonderful, scary, interesting VIRTUAL WORLD.